food relief to.  It was AWFUL -- and this is coming from someone who happily eats MREs... how sensitive can my palate actually be?  While there was no doubt in my mind that this could sustain life, a piece of cardboard from a pizza box that had a bit of pizza topping stuck to it would be more flavorful... in fact, it LOOKED very much like a water-swollen piece of cardboard.  Feeding this to someone would definitely qualify as a war crime and crime against humanity.

I saved the other one (I had an MRE with the same thing in it for breakfast) for my show on Friday -- for the "Let's Annoy the Studio Manager" segment of the show.

I came to learn later that I was in the wrong place when I moved -- apparently the instruction to "go to that place on the dry lake bed that we talked about yesterday" wasn't the place in the dry lake bed (there were four marked on my GPS unit) I was supposed to go to -- and we eventually wound-up with THREE photographers in the same location.

And one  photographer -- PJ (Springman -- was so amused by what she thought was my "fashion statement" that she just HAD to take a picture of me:

Hey -- I dress for comfort, not for speed.  While Ober's crew is supposedly instantly recognizable by our MREs and camo hats, I pointed-out that my selection of the "boonie hat" was to

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protect my ears -- and you will note the guy behind me is wearing a hat that protects his ears as well -- and looks more ridiculous than mine...

...then again, his nose probably didn't get burned either -- as mine did.

And so ends the saga of the great Pahrump adventure!

Shots from The Sarge 010914

9-1-1

Despite the fact that my more serious columns generally suck, the events of the past week have made it difficult to write a lighter dissertation this week.  So I will go out on a limb and hope the readership will understand a column that is lacking in a sense of humor this week.  My sense of humor will be back on display for all to see next time - and hopefully the American sense of humor - which has served her well in the darkest of its moments - will return by then as well.

Unless you have been on a tropical desert island or in a mineshaft conducting sleep experiments since Tuesday, you are painfully aware of the cowardly act of terrorism inflicted on the American people this week.  While the loss of life was horrific and tragic, there is some comfort to be taken in the knowledge that it could have been FAR worse than it was: while obviously very well-planned and executed with a precision previously unheard of in a terrorist attack, errors on the part of the terrorists - and there were several - allowed many to flee.  It could literally have been TEN-times worse than it was.

I have spent a fair amount of time this week explaining to those who have asked the "who, what, when, where, why and how" of the events of that horrible day.  I must admit that I have been quite taken by the surprise and shock I have seen in my fellow Americans - those who know me well know that I have for nearly 30 years, commented that such an act was not a matter of "if," but of "when."

Many have lashed-out at the intelligence community for failing to protect us; let me tell you the fact that something like this has not happened sooner is a CREDIT to our intelligence and law enforcement communities.  There are places in the world where terrorist attacks, albeit much smaller, are a way of LIFE.  I have lived and worked in those places.  I have reacted to terrorist threats.  Someone trying to perform a terrorist act has personally threatened me (there's nothing like receiving a bomb threat that you KNOW can't be true - but still have to report and secure against).  I know that I was a potential terrorist target, as are all Americans in a foreign land.

And it is dozens of times worse in Middle Eastern countries - and HUNDREDS of times worse in places like Israel.  That these things have NOT happened in America sooner speaks well of our intelligence and law enforcement communities - and our dumb luck.  Our police - even though they certainly need it sometimes - do not ROUTINELY carry automatic weapons.  Soldiers do not presently patrol our airports.  Armored vehicles do not presently patrol the runways.  You are NOT required to carry a "national identification card" in this country - in fact, you are NOT required to carry any identification at all in America.  You can even tell a cop in this country to "f***-off," if you wish and refuse to give any identification at all and STILL not be in violation of a law (although you may still be detained and such conduct won't endear you to the cops, of course).  American law enforcement STILL needs "probable cause" and a search warrant before busting down your doors.

However, it is NOT that way in other countries that use these very methods to control terrorism.  So that America was not hit SOONER is the part that has always amazed me.